Are Your Loved Ones Sabotaging You? | Danny's Universe
Most of us believe that the people we care about, and surround ourselves with, want what we want.  

We believe they want us to succeed, and to be happy.

Whether we are up for a job promotion, or trying to buy a nicer home, these are the people we can count on for prayers, support and encouragement.

Many times we have known these folks for decades.  They are a part of us.  We have laughed & cried together, celebrated birthdays together and so much more.  

We have shared memories that we "wouldn't take a million dollars for!" - or so we say.  They want us to do well and succeed.


As painful as this may be to hear, this is not always the case.  

If you take only part of what I am saying here, this can really mess with your head.  So, PLEASE read to the end.  

Sometimes things are not as they appear.   
This can be for a variety of reasons.  Yes, sometimes a person masquerading as a close friend, may secretly be wishing only bad things for us.

People can be quite good at masking their true feelings.  We often give a false appearance for one of a million reasons.  

Just as children wear Halloween masks that hide their beautiful faces, there are emotions, feelings, and thoughts that we don't present to the outside world.

We all have this condition with various levels of transparency.  It is not a bad thing to hold back some of what we feel inside, from others.

After all, can you imagine a world where people openly display every inner feeling and emotion?

What we are talking about here are those who hide behind a mask of loyalty with the intent of sabotaging one they call friend. 

Purposeful Sabotage
Perhaps you wronged someone (at least in their mind) long ago.  Today, you don't even remember the event.  However, they do.  

They remember, and are waiting for a chance to even the score with you.  

Maybe one of your close friends celebrates internally when you have a setback, because this makes them feel better about their own failures. 

Possible Reasons
People tend to like predictability and routine.  Your nearest and dearest may be scared about how your success will affect them.

Unfortunately, most people are self-involved creatures.  We may not like to admit this about ourselves.

Your friend may wonder, If you improve your finances, lose weight, stop drinking, become more spiritually minded etc. will you leave them behind? 

Will you look down on them?  All of these thoughts can be lurking in the minds of even our closest confidants.

Non-Purposeful Sabotage
Other times though, a loved one may think that he or she is helping and protecting you by discouraging you.  They may not want you to get your hopes up.

They may not want to see you hurt, so they aren't as supportive as they could be.  This can be a parent, another family member, a spouse; it can be anyone close to you.

The Good News
There are things we can do to at least partially help us know who is truly in our corner when things get tough.

I'm just going to say it straight out.  This is what I believe, and it's my blog, so here goes.  

(1.)  If someone (Christian or not) really follows the principles taught in the Holy Bible, that will increase the odds of them being a true friend.

I know this sounds super basic, but here's what I mean.  

Consider these questions when judging whether or not someone truly wants what is best for you, while also remembering that only God can really know what is going on in a person's heart and mind. 
  • Do they gossip about others? 
  • Do you catch them lying?  
  • How do they treat people who can do nothing for them in return?  
  • Have you heard that they talk bad (or borderline bad) about you, behind your back?  
  • Do they read their Bible and pray regularly?

You might be wondering why I mention praying and reading the Bible.  The reason is simple.  

The closer we are to God, the more like Him we will be.  God is love.  He wants what is best for us at all times. 

You should know, I am not the best at some of this myself.  It's easier to talk about, than to live every day, but we can try.

Fortunately, there are other telltale signs.   

(2.)  Does the person only give you one-sided opinions?  Giving only reasons for, or against success, can both be dangerous. 

(3.)  Time.  Most people who have a strong dislike for someone, will not stick around for a long period of time without making their true intentions known.

The reason is simple.  Most people give up.  They will somehow rationalize to themselves that they did something to get even, and move on, or you will figure out what they are up to.  

Either way, time can be a great asset.  

Yes, they will still hurt you if they can, but it would be more difficult if they are not in your trusted, inner circle.

Beware though, there are those who are very skilled at the art of lying in wait.  This is why I asked you earlier to read or listen to this entire post.

It is always up to you, and you alone to discern the good from the bad using the tools I have laid out here, and others we will talk about in the future.

The thoughts above are meant to help you discern true friends from false.  This article is NOT meant to make you paranoid or fearful. 

Whether you have one true friend and many true friends, count yourself very fortunate.

There is an ancient proverb that says, "To have friends, a man must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Thank you for reading,
Love one another

Disclaimer: I believe the philosophy I put forth here.  I believe my points are valid.  However, all situations are not equal.  If you are in dire need please speak to a respected faith leader or professional counselor in your area.  The thoughts and opinions here are my own and should not take the place of professional advice.


  1. You have said more in one post than most people say in years!! Thanks Danny for speaking the truth!! Love your post and look forward to seeing more.

    1. Thank you very much for reading. I really appreciate it, and the positive feedback too.

  2. Yes, it's hard when you have your career goals all planed out for your entertainment Career. Only to have one member on the Inside change them for you and your left with "Nothing Left" and never had a "Plan B", to fall back on. But family and life go's on with out you some time's........?

    1. You have done a great job at turning lemons into lemon-aid!
      Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it and you!